A Hopeful Story for the New Year From Women Wage Peace

2016 was not a very good year for Israel, and we have become even more isolated in the world. So when I arrived to Oxford, for an international symposium on Women’s Leadership, I was worried that as an Israeli I would not be welcome..

But the women who attended the conference from all over the world:  Italy,  Britain, Ireland, United States, Australia, South Africa, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Canada, Pakistan, Turkey, Zimbabwe, Ghana and Kazakhstan, among others, were all gracious. And when they heard that I was active in Women Wage Peace they really warmed up to me and were especially friendly.

Although I didn’t come to Oxford to speak about Women Wage Peace, the interest in the movement convinced me that it was important to talk about our activism in Israel as an example of women’s leadership. So I asked for special permission to introduce WWP, explain its goal  and describe its latest project: The March Of Hope.

The March Of Hope started on October 4th at the far northern border with Lebanon and it signaled the beginning of a two-week march which ended in a mass rally, in front of the prime minister’s home, in Jerusalem on October 19th. In the two weeks of the march (from Rosh Hashana to Sukkot)  there were local  events at different points along the way, and several solidarity marches took place outside Israel. On the last day about one thousand Palestinian women joined their Israeli counter parts  in Qasr El Yehud to their march for peace.

The March of Hope was a momentous endeavor, and for more than a year the movement’s special projects team worked on making it happen. Most of the work: the vision, planning and organizing was carried out by volunteers. Throughout the year hundreds of women from different circles in the movement joined in for specific assignments. In September the projects team ran a digital fund raising campaign (Mimouna) in support of the march.

It is not easy to keep the enthusiasm and commitment of volunteers for a long period. Throughout last year the movement organized screening of an inspiring film: Pray The Devil Back To Hell, which details the struggle of the Liberian women to end the civil war in their country. One woman, Leymah Gbowee, who was featured in the film, was prominent in the struggle and was even awarded the noble prize for peace for her activity. Thus the projects team chose Leymah as a symbol, she was invited to Israel and took part in the last days of the march.

This ingenious move added a symbolic dimension to the march, it went beyond an earthly activity and became part of a universal struggle of women against wars and violence. To emphasize this aspect inspirational ceremonies were held in different destinations along the way. Leymah Gbowee herself gave at least 5 speeches and each time she spoke honestly and clearly about the power of women in the battle against violence and their special ability to resolve conflicts.

As the time drew near  the whole movement pitched  in, the March was supposed to make Women Wage Peace a household name and to reintroduce messages of hope and peace and it worked. Thirty thousands women took part in the march, and several thousands joined the movement following the march.

When I asked the 5 women in the projects team to describe the March Of Hope in a few words, there were common themes: They all spoke about the power of love and hope, about trust within the team, about honesty and good-will in giving feedback, about commitment, thinking outside the box, friendship, flexibility, sense of humor, and sisterhood.

Those are important principles that manifest themselves  in our daily activities  as well. I hope that in 2017 Women Wage Peace will be able to bring a viable political agreement to our region, or in the words of Yael Deckelbaum's song, which was written in honor of the March Of Hope

From the north to the south
from the west to the east
hear the prayer of the mothers
bring them peace
bring them peace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YyFM-pWdqrY

The essay first appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/a-hopeful-story-for-the-new-year-from-women-wage-peace/

One Day You Will Be "Radical"

Yesterday someone posted on Facebook a photo with a quote by Gloria Steinem: “Women grow radical with age. One day an army of gray-haired women may quietly take over the earth.” Reading it I suddenly realized that when it comes to gray hair a rose is never just a rose, and perhaps my choice of not dying my hair has subversive undertones.

For as long as I can remember my mother had beautiful gray hair, she kept it short and let it dry in the sun. For a nurse, it was a practical, no-nonsense hair style, and it suited her personality. In my eyes my mother’s gray hair was a symbol of her wisdom and knowledge.

I was convinced that one day I would look just like her, but when my daughter detected some gray in my hair she asked me to dye it. I refused, but she argued that I was too young to be old.  I told myself that it was important to make my daughter proud and postponed my plan to grow old gracefully.

But, from experience, trying to please our loved ones hardly ever works. I knew the truth behind my gray roots, and resented the effort of hiding it from the rest of the world. Whenever I saw gray haired women I found myself complimenting them on their hair, and explaining why mine was dark. Of course I sounded insincere and silly.

Perhaps a psychologist could have called my predicament a cognitive dissonance, but it simply translates to not being true to myself. So one day I stopped dying my hair. My daughter was displeased at first, but pretty soon she wrote to tell me that gray hair has made a comeback. I like to think it was her way of saying that she accepted my choice.

Back to Gloria Steinem’s quote: hair color is  a matter of personal choice, but I agree that  women grow radical with age. Since young women face enough challenges juggling family and career and most of them have no spare time for activism, it is up to us, their mothers, to come to the rescue again and do it for them.

I noticed that many young women attended the different protest marches on January 21st. They made a special effort and came to show their discontent. However, usually it is the older women who dedicate their life to the cause and become active in different social and political movements.

In Women Wage Peace, for example, the age range of most of its hard core activists is from late 40s to late 60s. While in many other aspects of life women that age start to become less relevant, here they can shine and make a real difference. Many of us are willing to dedicate all our time and effort to promote peace in our region, and I believe that we have the wisdom,knowledge and determination to bring a change.

Young women have something to look forward to, Gloria Steinem makes growing older seem almost fun. Hopefully it won't take long before they join us in taking over the earth and making it a better place.

The essay first appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/one-day-you-will-be-radical/

Little Salam or Who Is Afraid of Peace

At a playground in West Philadelphia, my granddaughter Leora played with another little girl, her name was Salam. She spoke to her father in English (with an American accent) and he answered with a strong foreign accent. My first reaction, upon hearing the little girl’s name, was “what a lovely name.” Then I started thinking about our area and about peace.

Until recently I didn’t realize that peace has suffered such an enormous fall from grace. But first came the day of the Israeli elections on March 17th, 2015 when the candidate Bibi Netanyahu forgot that he was also the nation's prime minister and warned "his" supporters against fellow citizens: the Israeli/Arab voters. Then last October, the same Prime Minister announced at a Foreign Affairs and Defense Committee Meeting that "we will forever live by the sword.”

it has become clear that peace is no longer relevant, and every time we say "Shalom" we don't mean it. Even worse, from what I see peace has turned into a cynical political word. For example, in response to an essay about Women Wage Peace, which I had written and posted on Facebook I received quite a few disturbing comments.

In that essay, I stressed the fact that since its inception in 2014, shortly after the end of Operation Protective Edge, Women Wage Peace has insisted that it did not wish to identify with any political party. It started as a grassroots movement which aimed to gather under its umbrella as many women as possible, and it has purposely remained within the consensus focusing only on universal, seemingly non controversial, values. It should have worked: is there a woman who’d admit that she doesn’t want peace?

It didn't: in response, one woman whose profile photos featured her with a smiling baby, argued that “wishing for peace (shalom) has become just a way of laundering words.” She also insisted several times  that “to say here (in Israel) that peace is not a political matter is either stupid or ignorant.”

It is disheartening that so many people here are willing to give up on peace and are even afraid of it.  However, it is scary that young women, and mothers, are resigned to a  future in which their children would have to live on their swords as well.

Several members of a Religious Feminists  group wrote that a post about peace and women should  be removed. It seems that in today’s political climate it is wise for Women Wage Peace to erase  the objectionable first word from its name and to get rid of the third. For the time being it can l keep the word “Wage.”

Like many other universal values and principles in Israel today (among them, thou shalt not kill, thou shalt not steal, and thou shall not covet), peace too is out of favor.

I wonder how many Israeli or Palestinian babies who are born today are given the name Salam/Shalom. But at least I could always find solace in the fact that across the Atlantic ocean in the largest democracy in the world  little Salam still plays with my Israeli granddaughter.

P.S I checked and "peace"  is not one of the key words that the Times Of Israel provides for its  bloggers.

The post appeared in the Times Of Israel
http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/little-salam-or-who-is-afraid-of-peace/

Strong and Purposeful: Women Wage Peace

Exactly a year ago I visited the tent of Women Wage Peace in front of the Prime Minister's residence.The Movement organized a communal fast that lasted for 50 days to commemorate the last war, and to protest against the possibility of a future one. The women took turns fasting for 50 days--the number of days of Operation Protective Edge.

 Unfortunately in the year that followed, we haven’t seen any progress toward peace. Here are some of my impressions from last year.

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July 27th 2015: Yesterday on 9th of Av, in the tent of Women Wage Peace, there were more fasting women than usual, as women fasted to commemorate ancient and recent national tragedies.

Some calamities are inevitable, but the last war, known by the euphemistic name Operation Protective Edge, was not one of those tragedies. Few days after the beginning of the war in July 2014, in the Israeli Arab town of Tira, more than thousand people gathered at the center of town taking part in the demonstration: “Jews and Arabs refuse to be enemies.” They were speeches pleading that it was still not too late to stop the war, many people carried signs in Hebrew and in Arabic. One woman stood next to the stage holding a big sign in Hebrew “Jewish and Arab women refuse to be enemies.”

The activists of Women Wage Peace want to make sure that this time, someone will actually see the signs, listen to reason and take action.

They have been camping at a tent outside the home of the Prime Minister since July 9th, 2015, exactly a year after the beginning of Operation Protective Edge. On that day, they also started a 50 day fast. The women of Women Wage Peace are calling on the government to return to negotiations with the Palestinians.

In my two visits to Jerusalem to sit in the tent, it was filled with action. In spite of the grim reasons for the protest, the energy and hopeful atmosphere were uplifting. Some women wore a blue sign of “fasting,” and other women encouraged passers-by to come and sit in the tent. Every so often, there were spontaneous discussions and short talks.

On my first visit, a young Haredi man took the stand and preached to the group trying to convince them that peace was neither attainable nor necessary. The hospitable women listened patiently, perhaps even too patiently, while he kept talking.

Once, we actually got a glimpse of our Prime Minister. We saw his convoy passing by, operating the sirens. But, as expected, he didn’t stop to talk to the women in the tent.

Several years ago Sarah Netanyahu offered pizza to demonstrators outside her home. Although pizza won't work, as the women of Women Wage Peace are fasting, they surely would welcome a friendly gesture. I have to wonder, doesn’t Sarah Netanyahu, a mother and an educator, want peace?

…….

Few days after publishing this post, Sarah Netanyahu met four representatives of the Movement. From reading about the meeting in several newspapers, I concluded that it did not go well. Here are my thoughts from that time,  I believe that they are still relevant

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August 17th, 2015:  Following their meeting with Sara Netanyahu, the four leaders of Women Wage Peace were labeled "left wing activists" in two different newspapers. This is another example in which, despite the effort we put into our words and our actions, we have very little control over the way other people perceive us.

Since its inception in 2014, shortly after the end of Operation Protective Edge, Women Wage Peace has insisted that it did not identify with any political party. It started as a grassroots movement which aimed to gather under its umbrella as many women as possible, and it has purposely remained within the consensus focusing only on universal, seemingly non controversial, values. It should have worked: is there a woman who’d admit that she doesn’t want peace?

But in today’s reality even a Hallmark Card is not above suspicion, and   members of a group of “ordinary” women, from all walks of life and from all over the country, who sit outside the home of our prime minister and fast, must be left-wing. It only took a short meeting of the four activists from Women Wage Peace with our first lady Sarah Netanyahu to ruin almost a year of walking on eggshells.

After more than 30 days of fasting for peace, when our first lady finally found the time to meet the representatives of the largest ever women movement, most of them mothers, she banished them to “hold their vigil outside the home of Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, as "It is Abbas who is responsible for the stalled process," "Let him work to renew negotiations instead of trying to promote boycotts of Israel.”(Haaretz 12/8)

At a time when "left-wing" has deteriorated from being a legitimate world view to a derogatory name, which is almost synonymous with being a traitor, I hope that branding  the four activists of Women Wage Peace, who met Sara Netanyahu, as "left-wing" is not a cynical attempt to break the spirit of the movement and put a stop to such an important initiative.

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I am happy to report that no one was able to break the spirit of the dedicated activists of Women Wage Peace. The movement continues to work throughout the country in order to raise awareness and to engage the public in a discussion about the feasibility of a political resolution. The movement also organizes national events in order to pressure decision makers to work toward reaching a viable peace agreement. One such event is planned for Sukkot. Women Wage Peace will hold a national March toward Jerusalem.

Hopefully, unlike last year’s fast, the March of Hope will be able to wake up the leaders of both sides. We have grown so tired of their excuses why they cannot bring us peace.

The essay appeared in the Times of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/strong-and-purposeful-women-wage-peace/

The Sons Garden: Stepping on Collective Toes

My quiet Ramat Gan neighborhood is having a makeover, and, as part of the improvements, one of the street corners, which used to be an unkempt tiny garden, has turned into a beautiful playground for toddlers.

Soon there was an announcement in the community Facebook that the town was looking for a new name for the playground, which in the past was called The Sons Garden (In honor of the fallen soldiers from the community).

I assumed that this request in accordance with the changing of times and suggested few suitable names. Then we got the invitation to the ribbon-cutting celebration of the new Sons Garden. I wonder why the town’s officials requested a new one if they never meant to change the old one.

Although it will take several more years until the tiny patrons of the playground could actually read, they probably can already inquire if only little boys are allowed to play in The Sons Garden.

Of course, there was no need  to give up  the old name altogether, but the town could have placed a prominent commemorative plaque honoring the bravery of the Sons and added  a more optimistic name, like the Garden of Hope, Life, or The Children’s Garden for the toddlers who use the  playground. This could have been a meaningful way to honor the soldiers and the life that they bequeathed us.

I posted a question on Facebook asking the women, and mothers, of our community how they felt about keeping the old name. Unfortunately it turned out to be my first personal experience of Facebook shaming, and I was totally unprepared for it.

As a mother of girls, I expected other mothers to feel like me and to express a wish for a more inclusive name. However, none of those who took the time to respond to my post did. On the contrary, they were adamant about keeping the old name.

I was accused of being unpatriotic, of not honoring the legacy of my country, of giving a bad name to the feminist movement. When I wrote back, claiming that those toddlers who frequent the playground should be allowed few carefree years, before they join us in sharing the burden of our history, I was accused of being a traitor.

Reading the responses I suddenly realized that, naively and without meaning to, I stepped on collective toes of my community.

It seems that for a whole generation that grew up in our neighborhood, that piece of unkempt green was always The Sons Garden, it was part of their childhood and their history. While I believed that a new and hopeful name could be a the right tribute to the sacrifice of the soldiers, my neighbors interpreted my suggestion as an attempt to erase their past.

There were many other enraged responses, and finally, out of respect, I removed my post.

On Monday, on Adar 11th, the movement Women Wage Peace, will go up north to pay tribute to the legacy of Tel Hai and the pioneers who defended that post 96 years ago. They will connect the theme of sacrifice of past heroes, like Josef Trumpeldor, with the vision of peace, using the motto: “Good to live for our country.”

Since its inception in 2014, shortly after the end of Operation Protective Edge, the grassroots movement Women Wage Peace, has attempted to gather under its umbrella as many women as possible, and, in doing so, purposely remained within the consensus focusing only on universal, seemingly non controversial, values.

I belong to Women Wage Peace, and until this morning I was certain that the motto “Good to live for our country” was another universal truth, and that all Israeli women, especially mothers, could identify with this statement.

But now, after the blunder regarding the name of the tiny playground in Ramat Gan, I am more skeptic and realize that even within my immediate community, there is still a lot that I can’t understand.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israelv

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-sons-garden-stepping-on-collective-toes/

“When I want Something I Get It:” Benjamin Netanyahu's Desires

The idiom “a picture is worth a thousand words” was reversed yesterday at the Israeli Knesset, and a brief (six words) sentence in Hebrew “when I want something I get it”  became stronger than thousands photo opportunities.

Our prime minister spoke yesterday, for the first time, like a true leader, with conviction and passion. I was almost proud of him.

But unfortunately Benjamin Netanyahu’s desires are not about ending world hunger or bringing peace to our region.

If, as he himself admits, our leader is relentless, even unstoppable,when he wants something,  my only conclusion is that Netanyahu doesn’t want to end the conflict in the Middle East and to bring about peace.

It is not that I hadn't suspected it before, but often we learn more about people from what they don’t say than from their actual words.

I don’t wish to believe that the Israeli leaders do not care about the well-being of the Israelis and the future of the country, and all they do in the Israeli Knesset is to make petty deals and pay bribe. However, to the regular Israeli, like me, it surely seems like that.

Thus rather than being impressed with the determination of Mr Netanyahu, I was shocked  again at the depth of his cynicism.

We were taught to admire the ethos and the seriousness of the Netanyahu family.  It is sad when all that is reduced to consummating the romance with the gas tycoons over Israel’s future natural resources.

In the beginning of September Benjamin Netanyahu met with the representatives of the movement Women Wage Peace, who sat in front of his home and fasted for 50 days to commemorate the 50 days of Operation Protective Edge in summer 2014.

Unlike Sara Netanyahu who had met the women earlier and chided them for not sitting outside the residence of the Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, her more experienced husband, our prime minister pretended to care about the movement and created goodwill by stating that he was ready to meet Abbas with no prior conditions.

The prime minister was photographed with the women, and he told them "we want life security and peace for our children." But he never said that when he wanted something he got it, probably because peace is not something he really wants.

Mr. Benjamin Netanyahu, as a member of the movement Women Wage Peace I also want life, security and peace for everyone. I and 15000 other women and men do not want to worry every time our children go back to the army whether we will see them again. We also don’t want the future citizens of Israel, our soldiers, to be scarred for life from what they experience in the occupied territories, it is a horrible price to pay.

For the New Year, I hope that all the creativity and energy that our leaders put into one gas deal will be diverted into a  plan  to promote  peace in our region and that Israelis and Palestinians will finally get what we want --- a  future.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-i-want-something-i-get-it-benjamin-netanyahus-desires/

David Or Daveed: The Truth About Women Wage Peace

A colleague told me once that when his first son was born he wanted to name him David. However he didn’t like the way Americans pronounce Biblical names, so he consulted several sources and discovered that the closest  transliteration of the Hebrew name was Daveed. The next day when the nurse entered the hospital room and saw the name on the baby’s crib, she said “you sure spell David strangely."

I was thinking about this amusing anecdote when I heard that, after their meeting with Sara Netanyahu, the four leaders of Women Wage Peace were labeled "left wing activists" in two different newspapers. This is another example in which, despite the effort we put into our words and our actions, we have very little control over the way other people perceive us.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/david-or-daveed-the-truth-about-women-wage-peace/

It's Time To Listen: Women Wage Peace

Yesterday on  9th of Av, in the tent of Women Wage Peace, there were more fasting women than usual, as women fasted to commemorate ancient and recent national tragedies.

Some calamities are inevitable, when we lost the brakes in our car on the highway in Italy, we knew that we were going to hit the car in front of us.

But the last war, known by the euphemistic name Operation Protective Edge, was not one of those tragedies.

Few days after the beginning of the war in July 2014, in the Israeli Arab town of Tira, more than thousand people gathered at the center of town taking part in the demonstration: “Jews and Arabs refuse to be enemies.” They were speeches pleading that it was still not too late to stop the war, many people carried  signs in Hebrew and in Arabic. One woman stood next to  the stage throughout the event, holding a  big sign in Hebrew “Jewish and Arab women refuse to be enemies.”

The women of Women Wage Peace want to make sure that this time, someone will  actually see the signs, listen to reason and take actions.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/its-time-to-listen-women-wage-peace/