Final destination Switzerland, or helping our loved ones to die

Euthanasia has always been around, yet, not surprisingly, it is not a popular topic of discussion, quite the contrary. Every so often something happens which reminds us of its presence, and significance, in our life. Lately it was personal accounts of several terminally ill Israelis who chose to end their lives in a Swiss clinic.

It seems that nowadays beautiful Switzerland is more than a tourist attraction for healthy (and quite comfortable) Israeli tourists: It has become a final destination for unhealthy (and quite comfortable) Israelis in search of a dignified death. In both cases the visit to Switzerland is a choice reserved only for those with money.

This morning on the radio (Reshet Bet Ha'Miznon, the canteen) Haim Zisovitch discussed mercy killing. In Israel mercy killing, and doctor-assisted suicide are illegal. Thus, for those terminally ill patients who could not afford the trip to Switzerland, the options in Israel are limited.

Luckily for dying patients, even here there are merciful ways to interpret the law. I personally know of several examples including that of my own mother.

When I was in kindergarten my mother, who was a nurse, took care of  a dying cancer patient who was also a medical doctor. Then suddenly that patient died. As a child I didn’t think much about it, but years later, my mother gave me the details. She said that one of her patient's friends, another doctor, helped her to end her suffering. My mother added, with admiration, that this was how doctors “took care״ of their own, that it was a professional courtesy, of a kind, for a dying colleague.

At that point I understood exactly what she meant and promised myself that, if needed, I would do the same for her. It was only natural that I remembered my promise when my mother was hospitalized with strong abdominal pain and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My brother and I met her doctor and I asked him directly about the hospital's policy regarding euthanasia. When I saw my brother’s reaction to my question I realized that our mother never mentioned that wish to him. But the doctor was not surprised, he said that they kept terminally ill patients comfortable and promised that they would do their best for my mother.

The next day I took my mother for an additional exam in another part of the hospital. On the way there we passed a beautiful garden  “Look mommy” I said, “This is such a beautiful spot.” My mother, who used to love the outdoors seemed detached and said nothing. I realized that she was getting ready to leave. And when, a little later, she asked me to take home some of her things, because she “won’t be needing them anymore.” I didn’t protest, and understood it as her way to signal to me that it was time to leave, I accepted her decision. My mother died that night. For weeks, even months, I was relieved, even glad, that her suffering ended.

Next week we will mark the 20th anniversary of our mother's death. Whenever I think about the last days of her life I also remember the compassionate and dignified way she was treated in a crowded Israeli hospital, and I am grateful for the gentle help she got in order to exit this world.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/final-destination-switzerland-or-helping-our-loved-ones-to-die/

Strong and Purposeful: Women Wage Peace

Exactly a year ago I visited the tent of Women Wage Peace in front of the Prime Minister's residence.The Movement organized a communal fast that lasted for 50 days to commemorate the last war, and to protest against the possibility of a future one. The women took turns fasting for 50 days--the number of days of Operation Protective Edge.

 Unfortunately in the year that followed, we haven’t seen any progress toward peace. Here are some of my impressions from last year.

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July 27th 2015: Yesterday on 9th of Av, in the tent of Women Wage Peace, there were more fasting women than usual, as women fasted to commemorate ancient and recent national tragedies.

Some calamities are inevitable, but the last war, known by the euphemistic name Operation Protective Edge, was not one of those tragedies. Few days after the beginning of the war in July 2014, in the Israeli Arab town of Tira, more than thousand people gathered at the center of town taking part in the demonstration: “Jews and Arabs refuse to be enemies.” They were speeches pleading that it was still not too late to stop the war, many people carried signs in Hebrew and in Arabic. One woman stood next to the stage holding a big sign in Hebrew “Jewish and Arab women refuse to be enemies.”

The activists of Women Wage Peace want to make sure that this time, someone will actually see the signs, listen to reason and take action.

They have been camping at a tent outside the home of the Prime Minister since July 9th, 2015, exactly a year after the beginning of Operation Protective Edge. On that day, they also started a 50 day fast. The women of Women Wage Peace are calling on the government to return to negotiations with the Palestinians.

In my two visits to Jerusalem to sit in the tent, it was filled with action. In spite of the grim reasons for the protest, the energy and hopeful atmosphere were uplifting. Some women wore a blue sign of “fasting,” and other women encouraged passers-by to come and sit in the tent. Every so often, there were spontaneous discussions and short talks.

On my first visit, a young Haredi man took the stand and preached to the group trying to convince them that peace was neither attainable nor necessary. The hospitable women listened patiently, perhaps even too patiently, while he kept talking.

Once, we actually got a glimpse of our Prime Minister. We saw his convoy passing by, operating the sirens. But, as expected, he didn’t stop to talk to the women in the tent.

Several years ago Sarah Netanyahu offered pizza to demonstrators outside her home. Although pizza won't work, as the women of Women Wage Peace are fasting, they surely would welcome a friendly gesture. I have to wonder, doesn’t Sarah Netanyahu, a mother and an educator, want peace?

…….

Few days after publishing this post, Sarah Netanyahu met four representatives of the Movement. From reading about the meeting in several newspapers, I concluded that it did not go well. Here are my thoughts from that time,  I believe that they are still relevant

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August 17th, 2015:  Following their meeting with Sara Netanyahu, the four leaders of Women Wage Peace were labeled "left wing activists" in two different newspapers. This is another example in which, despite the effort we put into our words and our actions, we have very little control over the way other people perceive us.

Since its inception in 2014, shortly after the end of Operation Protective Edge, Women Wage Peace has insisted that it did not identify with any political party. It started as a grassroots movement which aimed to gather under its umbrella as many women as possible, and it has purposely remained within the consensus focusing only on universal, seemingly non controversial, values. It should have worked: is there a woman who’d admit that she doesn’t want peace?

But in today’s reality even a Hallmark Card is not above suspicion, and   members of a group of “ordinary” women, from all walks of life and from all over the country, who sit outside the home of our prime minister and fast, must be left-wing. It only took a short meeting of the four activists from Women Wage Peace with our first lady Sarah Netanyahu to ruin almost a year of walking on eggshells.

After more than 30 days of fasting for peace, when our first lady finally found the time to meet the representatives of the largest ever women movement, most of them mothers, she banished them to “hold their vigil outside the home of Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, as "It is Abbas who is responsible for the stalled process," "Let him work to renew negotiations instead of trying to promote boycotts of Israel.”(Haaretz 12/8)

At a time when "left-wing" has deteriorated from being a legitimate world view to a derogatory name, which is almost synonymous with being a traitor, I hope that branding  the four activists of Women Wage Peace, who met Sara Netanyahu, as "left-wing" is not a cynical attempt to break the spirit of the movement and put a stop to such an important initiative.

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I am happy to report that no one was able to break the spirit of the dedicated activists of Women Wage Peace. The movement continues to work throughout the country in order to raise awareness and to engage the public in a discussion about the feasibility of a political resolution. The movement also organizes national events in order to pressure decision makers to work toward reaching a viable peace agreement. One such event is planned for Sukkot. Women Wage Peace will hold a national March toward Jerusalem.

Hopefully, unlike last year’s fast, the March of Hope will be able to wake up the leaders of both sides. We have grown so tired of their excuses why they cannot bring us peace.

The essay appeared in the Times of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/strong-and-purposeful-women-wage-peace/

On May 16th 1948 The State of Israel Was Born

On May 16th, 1948, the state of Israel was born. In people’s life this is an age when a person could reflect back on his/her life, consider the personal accomplishments and plans how to lead the rest of his life. I don’t have to look far to make this comparison, my brother, who is 7 years older than me, is 68 and I always remember his birthday in connection with that of the state of Israel.

The first years of my brother were the years of austerity when to deal with the shortages, the Israeli government instituted a system of rationing. To buy most rationed items, my parents, along with the rest of the adult population, had to register at chosen shops, and were provided with a ration book. The shopkeepers were supplied with enough food only for registered customers.

Those were difficult years, and it was a struggle for parents to provide for their families. My mother told me that our neighbor, normally an even tempered gentleman, slapped his son once, in frustration since the little one refused to eat chicken liver and threw the plate on the floor. She didn’t tell the story in order to disparage the father, but to demonstrate the level of exasperation of most parents at that time.

I don’t believe that they were traumatized by the times of austerity, my parents were young, and besides, at that point almost everyone else was as poor. I know that my father refused to buy anything on the black market, and even those who bought special food illegally usually consumed it quietly at home.

Still the time of austerity affected the rest of my parents' life and they never took for granted the good times which followed. They taught us to finish everything on our plate, literally and metaphorically. They were frugal and raised us not to be greedy or wasteful. I believe that the values which we learnt at home influenced my brother’s choice to spend his career in public television, and mine to become a college teacher.

Thinking of the age of Israel, another name comes to mind, a man who is only a year younger than our state. The prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu was born in Israel in 1949. Although, like my brother, he was born at the time of the austerity, he spent the rest of his life compensating himself for the hardship of those early years.

I have to ask myself what are the values that Netanyahu learnt at home, as he grew up to be callous to the suffering of the poor and the disadvantaged, and thinks nothing of leading an extravagant lifestyle at the expense of the state of Israel and the tax payers.

Other Israelis who are Bibi’s age only get 2000 NIS as their social security allowance. Benjamin Netanyahu and his wife, each, spend double that amount on take-out food from restaurants

Today on May 16th 2016, 68 years after the birth of the state of Israel, I am curious to know what does our prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu consider as his personal accomplishments, but worse, I worry what kind of legacy he plans to leave behind.

 The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/on-may-16th-1948-the-state-of-israel-was-born/

"Let Them Eat Cake": May Day in Haifa and the Mimouna

This year the Jewish calendar is playing tricks and the Mimouna, the North African Jewish celebration which marks the end of Passover, happened on May Day, the International Workers’ Day. This coincidence is too symbolic to ignore, and it is hard not to acknowledge  the prosperity of the former and the demise of the latter.

Growing up in Haifa, the workers’ town, or as some call it “Red Haifa,” I got to participate in many May Day celebrations, and parades. Haifa (and its surrounding towns), is a major industrial center and workers, both Jewish and Arabs, have always been a high percent of the population. Thus May Day used to be a significant day for Haifa, and we all took part in the activities.

I read today that in 1984 (7 years after Menachem Begin came to power) Haifa held its last official May Day. About 100,000 people attended the celebrations, and dignitaries like Shimon Peres and Yitzhak Rabin were present.

I wonder if May Day had to disappear in order to make room for the Mimouna. Throughout the years this tradition was has been promoted and used by politicians, and gained popularity and prominence in Israeli society. However,  it doesn’t mean that North African Jews, especially in the peripheral towns are as prominent as well.

Please keep reading in the Times of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/let-them-eat-cake-may-day-in-haifa-and-the-mimouna/

A Personal/Open Letter to Naz Shah

Dear Ms Shah,

You don't know me and I only read about you in the Guardian article that stated your opinions regarding Israel and Israelis, and the subsequent turn of events. Still since you showed such interest in the future of my country and its people I would like to tell you a little about my past, it is a typical Jewish story

The last time my father saw his parents and his brother was in 1934, when he was 21 year old. He had worked for a Jewish firm in Berlin, and as the Nazis were putting a pressure of everything Jewish, the firm was transferred to Tel Aviv, my father moved there as well. This is how my father was the only one from his family to be saved from the Nazis.

My mother came to Tel Aviv, at the age of 17 with her family, they were Zionists and were granted certificates to immigrate to Israel because my grandfather had a job waiting, and his children were all under 18.

At that time, the 1930s, my country was under a  British Mandate (it got the mandate to rule that area in the early 1920s and it lasted till 1948) Immigration was banned, but some certificates were granted, my parents were the lucky ones. 

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/a-personalopen-letter-to-naz-shah/

We Still Have Choices: Cancer Patients and Their Families

In recent weeks, I hear on the radio, almost every day, another heart wrenching story about the end of life and the accessibility of life-extending drugs.

It is so hard to know what to do in such cases especially as we hope that staying alive and hanging in there, with the help of life extending drugs, could mean that perhaps in the meantime a new cure would appear on the market.

We made our choice and there is no way to tell if things could have been different had we made another decision.

In late 2006, my husband, a healthy man of 54, went to a conference in South Korea. He came back with a pain in his leg which turned out to be a blood cloth. For a while the doctors believed that his condition was caused from sitting down long hours during the flight, but short time later he was diagnosed with stage four lung cancer.

My husband, a practical engineer, asked his doctor how long he had to live, the answer was that normally in similar cases, the prognosis was death in less than a year.

My husband considered not taking any chemical treatment, but his doctor convinced him that, in spite of the side effects, chemotherapy could help him feel better and breathe easier. Thus,  instead of being a “dead man walking” (his words), he decided to  receive chemotherapy.

The first course of chemo was not effective, I can still feel the pain in my stomach once we got back the results of the PET Scan.

The doctor suggested a new drug, tablets which worked differently and were less harsh on the patients. At that time, Tarceva (erlotinib), was not covered by our health care provider or by our additional insurance.

We wrote a letter to both insurances asking to allow us to receive the drug, but our request was denied. Thus, my husband got another treatment, which apparently was too aggressive, and he died  few days after receiving the second dose, only 5 months after the diagnosis.

Because of the way it works, Tarceva could have made his last months easier, and indeed it became part of the standard treatment for advanced-stage non-small cell lung cancer soon after my husband passed away.

Of course, he wanted to live, and like many other cancer patients my husband agreed to try all kinds of costly natural remedies. But what helped him most was his decision, which he made once he was diagnosed, to be a role model to his daughters at that difficult time.

I believe that this was also the reason why he chose not to complain about the Tarceva's decision, or to contest it. Being prudent with our money, he also didn’t consider buying it in the private market.

Instead, he kept busy: he continued teaching, talked to us about the future, made plans and even forced me to go over the books with him and to write down important names and phone numbers. In those five months we sold our house in the suburb and bought a new one closer to town. I moved there on my own few months after he died.

Whenever I hear about a new drug for lung cancer I am pleased for the cancer patients, but feel a pang in my heart. We received a death sentence and had no medical answers.  However, after taking a deep a breath, I try to remember that at least my husband had the freedom to choose the way he wanted to spend his last days, and I know that those decisions made our life without him much more bearable.

In memory of Tzvi Raz, 1951--2007

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/we-still-have-choices-cancer-patients-and-their-families/

"Where Ignorance Is Bliss”: Bashing The Whistleblower

Although the Western German film, The Nasty Girl (1990) is not directly about feminism, it is no coincidence that the heroine, Sonja, is an intelligent and curious school girl, the pride and joy of her small town.The film is based on the biography of the journalist Anna Rosmus who grew up Passau in Bavaria. The nasty Girl is an example of the intolerable price that one brave whistleblower ends up paying for discovering and exposing the truth.

When young Sonja decides to enter an essay competition and chooses the topic: “My town during the third Reich,” she has no idea what this topic entails. Moreover, she doesn’t know anything about, her town, Pfilzing’s Nazi past, and can’t imagine the Pandora Box she is about to open. As she embarks on a quest to discover what really happened in her quaint little town, she threatens to expose forgotten secrets, which were hidden for almost 50 years.

This seemingly innocuous assignment, takes over Sonja's life and gradually shatters her world, and that of the people close to her. The townspeople unite against her and from being the town’s darling Sonja becomes an outcast.

Please keep reading in the Times of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/where-ignorance-is-bliss-bashing-the-whistleblower/

Contempt Of Erudition And The Council For Higher Education

For several years I too worked in the same college where Rivka Wadmany Shauman, the elected deputy head of the Council For Higher Education, spent much of her career. Most people probably never heard of the small Teachers College of Technology, in one of the quiet streets in the old north of Tel Aviv. At that time this school was affiliated with The College Of Management, and I taught in the two institutions.

Like Cheers, the Teachers College of Technology was a place “Where everybody knows your name.” It was an intimate place. But even though it was  a college that taught technology, the technological aspect of the institution was ill funded and quiet unimpressive. The college did not resemble an academic institution, it looked and operated like an old backward high school.

The students did not choose the college because of the love of technology and teaching but since there were almost no entrance requirements: everyone was welcome. The college also offered an attractive stipend, (half of the tuition)  which made the place even more attractive. Thus since the students in the Teachers College of Technology got a teaching certificate, their tuition was half of that of the students  in the College Of management.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/contempt-of-erudition-and-the-council-for-higher-education/

King Benjamin the First

It has only taken 66 years, but finally, like many other great monarchies in Europe, we too have a king. Our beloved ruler, King Benjamin the First was elected on March 17th 2015, 26 Adar, 5775 in the Jewish calendar, and was crowned by his adoring subjects,

Although formally King Benjamin does not come from a royal family, his parents were certainly members of the Zionist aristocracy. Young prince Benji and his two brothers were sent to the best schools (over seas) and got superb education.

This outstanding upbringing came in handy: less than a year after the royal election our king realized that there was no one who could do the job as well as him. Thus he came to the rescue and bravely took upon himself the immense responsibility of running the whole country singlehandedly.

Our monarch is the head of state, but since no one here knew enough about the  outside world, he kindly agreed to take charge of Israel’s foreign policy. And as he wished that our hearts would remain pure and truthful, the king made sure that  everything we read, heard or saw was accurate. To that end he had no choice but to become the communication minister. Because he cares so much about our financial wellbeing, and he could not find, in the entire nation,  an expert who understood the economy well enough, our gracious King was willing to shoulder that burden as well. Finally, in his capacity as a minister in charge of collaborations with our Middle Eastern neighbors, King Benjamin is solely responsible for  bringing about peace.

You may be surprised,  but only yesterday our king appeared before the Supreme Court and fought for our future, as he revealed to the judges the real truth about the natural resources in our country.

This is not the first time that our brave David battles Goliath. Not long ago, he flew to the US and bravely confronted the whole American Congress.

We are very lucky to have such a great king, the whole world admires him. In such a short time, he made Israel the best place on earth. We are thriving, have good jobs, our children attend exceptional schools, elderly people are being cared for, and our Palestinian neighbors enjoy quiet and peaceful life thanks to the equal rights that our beloved king had granted them.

If you’d like to know more about the good life in Israel, you are welcome to check the new book of Chronicles which was published lately by our king. You can find there more information about the aristocratic background of the king and his good wife, the queen. For the readers who like to read about royalty, the book provides useful and significant information about our crown prince and his younger brother.

If, at this point in time,  you don’t find enough substantial information in the book, don’t worry, it will be added soon in the second book of  Chronicles. The incoming chapters will include primary sources and documents pertaining to the immeasurable contribution of the king’s father to building Israel, and the theological background which was provided  by the queen's father.

Next time you pass by Ben Gurion avenue, you may want to take a photo as a souvenir, as soon it  will be replaced by a new sign--Benzion Netanyahu (father of the king) Boulevard.

Long Live King Benjamin the First.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/king-benjamin-the-first/

Rabin's Legacy and the Orphans

In the first year of being a widow, I once told my brother that my late husband would have wished that I followed a certain path. My brother retorted that since my husband was unpredictable and pragmatic, it was very likely that he would have thought differently, and anyway, he added, it was a fallacy to claim that I knew his wishes.

It was a disturbing answer, since part of me wanted to cling on to him a while longer, I attributed to my husband all kinds of wishes and desires. Those were no longer relevant, and as my brother was quick to point out, I didn’t take into account the fact that people constantly adjust their opinions according to changing circumstances.

I know that it is not only me, I often hear about adult children who, after losing a close family member, especially a parent, find the energy to go back to school, choose a new career, even get married, because they feel that it is a way to fulfill the wishes, or the legacy, of their loved one.

In my case, evoking my husband’s legacy gave me strength and filled me with a sense of purpose, as I navigated my way in the world without him.

For the last twenty years, people have been constantly bringing up the legacy of our slain leader Yitzhak Rabin. Only yesterday, again, Haaretz published an essay by the author Gadi Taub, in support of Yitzhak Herzog’s ideas about the Palestinian partner and the possibility of two states for the two nations. In order to strengthen his point, Taub summons that legacy: “This is also Rabin’s legacy the readiness to tell the voter the truth, even if it is a difficult one, and to present a realistic direction and not empty hopes”

Although this Yitzhak is the leader of the Labor Party as well, there is no reason to add weight to a political argument by evoking the other Yitzhak's legacy.

When we talk about one's legacy we actually refer to our own perceptions, as we continue to attribute to the deceased all kind of wishes and ideas. It could serve as a motivating force or some kind of  inspiration, and it helps us fill the void left by the departure of a loved one. But  legacy should not become a form of manipulation, misusing the name of the dead person, in order to promote a personal agenda.

For many Israelis it has been hard to overcome the traumatic loss, and to live in a world that no longer has Rabin in it  (to paraphrase Dahlia Ravikovitch's words in the poem "In memory of  Antoine de Saint Exupery": The world is not what it was/ weeds and wind,/ wind and sand./This surely is the look of the world/ that no longer has Saint Exupery).

But twenty later, we on the left cannot remain the helpless orphans any longer. We should not try to find justifications for our present and future actions in Rabin’s legacy. Like all real leaders, he was pragmatic and was not afraid to change his mind according to changing circumstances.

It is high time that we grow up and  let Yitzhak Rabin finally rest in peace. 

P.S. The link to my translation of the poem In Memory Of Antoine de Saint Exupery:

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/laughing-in-the-clouds-dahlia-ravikovitch/

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/rabins-legacy-and-the-orphans/

Kindergarten Children Under A Magnifying Glass

Yesterday Ha’aretz reposted on Facebook  a popular article with the intriguing name: "Parents do not pity their Kindergarten children." This title is an ironic allusion to the famous poem by Yehuda Amichai: "God pities the Kindergarten children."

Among other issues, the article criticizes the new demand that children will know how to read while they are still in Kindergarten. I agree with the criticism, but can testify, from my personal experience, that it is not a new trend. This is an essay that I wrote about over parenting:

When another mother told me that I had to make sure that my four-and-a-half-year-old daughter knew how to read before she started kindergarten that fall, I knew that I was in trouble. She explained that in the event that she didn’t read she would be put in the lowest ability group, and that would be the end. I was sure no mother in her right mind would risk ruining her daughter’s future and teaching her to read seemed like a small price to pay. But that was only the beginning:

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/kindergarten-children-under-a-magnifying-glass/

How I Became the Enemy of Peace and Givat Haviva

After spending almost 15 years in the US where we lived the American dream -- two daughters, a dog, a good job, and a house in the suburbs, we went back to Tel Aviv . For several years, we lived in a tiny apartment at the old north.

It was a perfect location, but still we longed to move away from the noise and the pollution, and were hoping to recreate our old life at the American suburbs.

It was the 1990s, a time when many of our friends moved away from the cities to places that promised good quality of life together with a garden. Our “solution” was a beautiful community called Oranit, only 28 minutes, by car,  from Tel Aviv. We loved the location in the beautiful hills of Samaria, near Rosh Ha’ayin rand Kfar Kasem.

Several kilometers to the east we saw a  border control station, so we assumed that Oranit was safely tucked inside what is called “the Green Line” (the pre-1967 borders of Israel).

Soon we found a suitable house in the western part of Oranit. The owners, a very nice family with two daughters, just like ours, were going to be our next-door neighbors. We made an offer on that house, and met at the lawyer's office to sign the papers. Then to our dismay we discovered that we had just committed ourselves to buying a house in the occupied territories. It transpired that although part of Oranit was inside the Green Line, it was still a settlement.

Our blindness could be partly excused because these were the pre-internet days. Besides, we had been away from Israel for many years, and didn't know which questions to ask. So we were unaware of the fact that the location of the border control station did not indicate that this was indeed a border. Furthermore, after being assured by the seller, and other members of the community, that our new home was indeed “on the Israeli side of the Green Line,” it never occurred to us to investigate the matter further before buying the house..

We lived in Oranit for seven years, and although I loved my house and the community, I felt uneasy and was always apologetic about choosing to live in a settlement.

We had bought the house in 1998, yet we only moved to Oranit in the summer of 2000, days before the Second Intifada. The Intifada and the political situation in Israel made matters much worse. For years, I have been volunteering in schools in the US and in Israel, and, upon moving to Oranit, I offered to do the same at the school in the neighboring Arab town of Kefar Kasem.

But, even though I was always welcome in Kfar Kasem as a customer, my offer to volunteer was declined.

In a similar fashion, my application to participate in a Peace Initiative in Givat Haviva was rejected because I was a settler. When I spoke to the Israeli and Palestinian coordinators and explained that it was important to include in the peace efforts Israelis and Palestinians from all segments  of the population, they politely agreed, but still did not accept me to the project.

It's a shame, even among the settlers, there are people who, not only say that they want peace, but would like to be involved. Many of my friends in Oranit told me that for peace they would willingly move westward.

For me, Givat Haviva is a symbol of the intolerance of the left, and until this day, it pains me to remember the humiliation I felt there when I was treated as the enemy of peace. Leftist sentiments come in many different shades and degrees. The peace camp is small, and could not afford to act like an exclusive club which leaves certain people out.

 The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/how-i-became-the-enemy-of-peace-and-givat-haviva/

Electric Light Is the Most Efficient Policeman: Breaking The Silence

On a recent visit to Hebron with  Breaking The Silence, our guide told us that when he came home for Shabbat, during his army service in the occupied territories, he could tell no one at home about his experience. Even his own mother didn't want to know and said " it’s okay, you are home now.”

Breaking The Silence was founded in 2004, it is an organization of veteran combatants who have served in the Israeli military since the start of the Second Intifada and have taken it upon themselves to expose the Israeli public to the reality of everyday life in the Occupied Territories.

The purpose of the organization is to shed light on Israel’s operational methods in the Territories and to encourage debate about the nature of the occupation (from the book Our Harsh Logic compiled by the organization Breaking the Silence)

Publicity has been seen as an effective tool already by the famous supreme court Justice Louis D Brandeis (the first Jew to be appointed to that court in 1916) who wrote that “Publicity is justly commended as a remedy for social and industrial diseases.”(1915)

But in Israel the publicity of Breaking The Silence is seen as a betrayal and not a remedy. Because the organization collects testimonies of soldiers about their experience in the Occupied Territories and then publicize them inside and outside Israel, it has become the enemy of the people. Thus speakers from Breaking The Silence are banned from appearing before  students and soldiers. Even our prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu, who grew up in the largest democracy in the world, talks about them as traitors..

If we compare our state to a family this is quite understandable. In dysfunctional homes the children are usually instructed never to talk about the problems to people outside the family. Moreover, in extreme cases of abuse children are threatened not to mention it to anyone. Thus, the worst crimes often happen inside the place which is supposed to be a safe haven-- our own home.

We were brought up to believe that our army, the Israeli army, was the most ethical in the world. For us a phrase like "the purity of weapon” was not an oxymoron but an important principle, going back to the time before the founding of the state of Israel. It was also a favorite topic of discussion in our youth movements' activities.

The name IDF explicitly states that the purpose of our army is to defend us, but throughout the years the definition of defense has changed, and what is seen as a threat today is not the same as it was in the early days of the state of Israel.

The public activity of Breaking The Silence, and their educational work should not be perceived as a threat to Israel, quite the contrary. In the age of social network when we could find everything on the web, arguments like this  organization  is causing demoralization, or it is giving ammunitions to those who hate us anyway, is not valid anymore.

We should be proud that in Israel we have watchdogs like Breaking The Silence, which publicize injustice, they help us be better people and stay that way, or as Louis D. Brandeis said in the latter part of his statement “Sunlight is said to be the best of disinfectants, electric light the most efficient policeman.”

P.S This is the link to the essay, which I wrote, following the visit to Kiryat Arba and Hebron with Breaking the Silence.

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/i-am-a-camera-visiting-kiryat-arba-and-hebron/

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/electric-light-is-the-most-efficient-policeman-breaking-the-silence/

Israel Conference On Peace and The Missing Parents

Israel Conference On Peace last Thursday brought together an impressive roster of speakers, whose opinions matter. There were Israelis and Palestinians, representatives from the left and from the right and even several statesmen like Tony Blair and Martin Indyk who are involved in the peace “industry”. They all spoke to a full house that was waiting for some encouraging message of hope.

Still if we need a proof that the Israeli left is out of touch with the life of most Israelis, we could start with the location of the conference and the price of registration.

The conference was held at a luxurious hotel in Tel Aviv.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/israel-conference-on-peace-and-the-missing-parents/

See No Evil: "The Night In Question"

Twenty years ago today our Prime Minister Yitzhak Rabin was murdered.

A year earlier we returned to Israel after a long stay in the US. From distant Texas the summer of 1994 seemed like a wonderful time to be back in Israel. No one could have guessed that all that would end on October 4th 1995.

I recently took part in “the Narratives Project,” an initiative organized by The Parents Circle-Families Forum (PCFF). It brings together 15 Palestinians and 15 Israelis for several meetings in order to get to know each other and to promote understanding and peace.

The first meeting was for an intensive weekend in Beit Jala. In one of the organized activities we were asked to write down dates with special meaning and to stick the notes on  a rug at the center of the room. 

Please keep reading in the Times of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/see-no-evil-the-night-in-question/

Lord of the Flies Is Here: Israel 2015

In the past month I have been feeling like  I live in a dystopia, but until this morning when I read in Haaretz Zeeva Achi Meir's letter to the editor, I wasn't sure  which one it was.

The title of the letter is “Zabotinski and Abba (Abba is also the first name of Achi Meir’s dad) are ashamed of Netanyahu and his friends.”

It starts with the writer’s concern regarding the erroneous and dangerous leadership of the right. She refers specifically to the sons of the revisionists. It ends with the statement that the founders of the revisionist party would have objected to the way things are in Israeli society, and would have fought with all their might against the blindness, callousness and lack of humanity of the prime minister and his confederates. They betray their parents’ legacy and are leading the Israeli society, and the state of Israel, from a mere disaster to the catastrophe of its loss (in moral and existential terms).

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israelhttp://blogs.timesofisrael.com/lord-of-the-flies-is-here-israel-2015/

“When I want Something I Get It:” Benjamin Netanyahu's Desires

The idiom “a picture is worth a thousand words” was reversed yesterday at the Israeli Knesset, and a brief (six words) sentence in Hebrew “when I want something I get it”  became stronger than thousands photo opportunities.

Our prime minister spoke yesterday, for the first time, like a true leader, with conviction and passion. I was almost proud of him.

But unfortunately Benjamin Netanyahu’s desires are not about ending world hunger or bringing peace to our region.

If, as he himself admits, our leader is relentless, even unstoppable,when he wants something,  my only conclusion is that Netanyahu doesn’t want to end the conflict in the Middle East and to bring about peace.

It is not that I hadn't suspected it before, but often we learn more about people from what they don’t say than from their actual words.

I don’t wish to believe that the Israeli leaders do not care about the well-being of the Israelis and the future of the country, and all they do in the Israeli Knesset is to make petty deals and pay bribe. However, to the regular Israeli, like me, it surely seems like that.

Thus rather than being impressed with the determination of Mr Netanyahu, I was shocked  again at the depth of his cynicism.

We were taught to admire the ethos and the seriousness of the Netanyahu family.  It is sad when all that is reduced to consummating the romance with the gas tycoons over Israel’s future natural resources.

In the beginning of September Benjamin Netanyahu met with the representatives of the movement Women Wage Peace, who sat in front of his home and fasted for 50 days to commemorate the 50 days of Operation Protective Edge in summer 2014.

Unlike Sara Netanyahu who had met the women earlier and chided them for not sitting outside the residence of the Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas, her more experienced husband, our prime minister pretended to care about the movement and created goodwill by stating that he was ready to meet Abbas with no prior conditions.

The prime minister was photographed with the women, and he told them "we want life security and peace for our children." But he never said that when he wanted something he got it, probably because peace is not something he really wants.

Mr. Benjamin Netanyahu, as a member of the movement Women Wage Peace I also want life, security and peace for everyone. I and 15000 other women and men do not want to worry every time our children go back to the army whether we will see them again. We also don’t want the future citizens of Israel, our soldiers, to be scarred for life from what they experience in the occupied territories, it is a horrible price to pay.

For the New Year, I hope that all the creativity and energy that our leaders put into one gas deal will be diverted into a  plan  to promote  peace in our region and that Israelis and Palestinians will finally get what we want --- a  future.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/when-i-want-something-i-get-it-benjamin-netanyahus-desires/

The Poor Woman’s Lamb: The State Of Israel And Its Widows

After my husband died I was entitled to survivors benefits from the Israeli university where he taught. There were all kind of documents that I had to sign in order to complete the transaction, but one paper was especially problematic. It was a contract which specifically stated that in the event that I got remarried I would no longer be eligible to continue getting my late husband's pension.

I was shocked, I knew about the draconian policies regarding military widows, who lost their benefits if they chose to remarry (that law was changed only in 2009). However, this was not the army,

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-poor-womans-lamb-the-state-of-israel-and-its-widows/

David Or Daveed: The Truth About Women Wage Peace

A colleague told me once that when his first son was born he wanted to name him David. However he didn’t like the way Americans pronounce Biblical names, so he consulted several sources and discovered that the closest  transliteration of the Hebrew name was Daveed. The next day when the nurse entered the hospital room and saw the name on the baby’s crib, she said “you sure spell David strangely."

I was thinking about this amusing anecdote when I heard that, after their meeting with Sara Netanyahu, the four leaders of Women Wage Peace were labeled "left wing activists" in two different newspapers. This is another example in which, despite the effort we put into our words and our actions, we have very little control over the way other people perceive us.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/david-or-daveed-the-truth-about-women-wage-peace/

It's Time To Listen: Women Wage Peace

Yesterday on  9th of Av, in the tent of Women Wage Peace, there were more fasting women than usual, as women fasted to commemorate ancient and recent national tragedies.

Some calamities are inevitable, when we lost the brakes in our car on the highway in Italy, we knew that we were going to hit the car in front of us.

But the last war, known by the euphemistic name Operation Protective Edge, was not one of those tragedies.

Few days after the beginning of the war in July 2014, in the Israeli Arab town of Tira, more than thousand people gathered at the center of town taking part in the demonstration: “Jews and Arabs refuse to be enemies.” They were speeches pleading that it was still not too late to stop the war, many people carried  signs in Hebrew and in Arabic. One woman stood next to  the stage throughout the event, holding a  big sign in Hebrew “Jewish and Arab women refuse to be enemies.”

The women of Women Wage Peace want to make sure that this time, someone will  actually see the signs, listen to reason and take actions.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/its-time-to-listen-women-wage-peace/