Final destination Switzerland, or helping our loved ones to die

Euthanasia has always been around, yet, not surprisingly, it is not a popular topic of discussion, quite the contrary. Every so often something happens which reminds us of its presence, and significance, in our life. Lately it was personal accounts of several terminally ill Israelis who chose to end their lives in a Swiss clinic.

It seems that nowadays beautiful Switzerland is more than a tourist attraction for healthy (and quite comfortable) Israeli tourists: It has become a final destination for unhealthy (and quite comfortable) Israelis in search of a dignified death. In both cases the visit to Switzerland is a choice reserved only for those with money.

This morning on the radio (Reshet Bet Ha'Miznon, the canteen) Haim Zisovitch discussed mercy killing. In Israel mercy killing, and doctor-assisted suicide are illegal. Thus, for those terminally ill patients who could not afford the trip to Switzerland, the options in Israel are limited.

Luckily for dying patients, even here there are merciful ways to interpret the law. I personally know of several examples including that of my own mother.

When I was in kindergarten my mother, who was a nurse, took care of  a dying cancer patient who was also a medical doctor. Then suddenly that patient died. As a child I didn’t think much about it, but years later, my mother gave me the details. She said that one of her patient's friends, another doctor, helped her to end her suffering. My mother added, with admiration, that this was how doctors “took care״ of their own, that it was a professional courtesy, of a kind, for a dying colleague.

At that point I understood exactly what she meant and promised myself that, if needed, I would do the same for her. It was only natural that I remembered my promise when my mother was hospitalized with strong abdominal pain and was diagnosed with terminal cancer. My brother and I met her doctor and I asked him directly about the hospital's policy regarding euthanasia. When I saw my brother’s reaction to my question I realized that our mother never mentioned that wish to him. But the doctor was not surprised, he said that they kept terminally ill patients comfortable and promised that they would do their best for my mother.

The next day I took my mother for an additional exam in another part of the hospital. On the way there we passed a beautiful garden  “Look mommy” I said, “This is such a beautiful spot.” My mother, who used to love the outdoors seemed detached and said nothing. I realized that she was getting ready to leave. And when, a little later, she asked me to take home some of her things, because she “won’t be needing them anymore.” I didn’t protest, and understood it as her way to signal to me that it was time to leave, I accepted her decision. My mother died that night. For weeks, even months, I was relieved, even glad, that her suffering ended.

Next week we will mark the 20th anniversary of our mother's death. Whenever I think about the last days of her life I also remember the compassionate and dignified way she was treated in a crowded Israeli hospital, and I am grateful for the gentle help she got in order to exit this world.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/final-destination-switzerland-or-helping-our-loved-ones-to-die/

The Kid Who Ran Away from School and Children Books' Justice

This school year, twice a week, I have been reading together with a young friend. He is  9-year-old, very curious and intelligent, and has his own ideas about everything. He is also a new immigrant from Russia who needs some help with his Hebrew.

Since reading, even in a foreign language, is supposed to be fun we choose together enjoyable books and  take turns reading aloud. My friend reads one page and I read the next. We usually read like that for half an hour (about six or seven pages), and then as a reward, I read to him till the end of the chapter.

My young friend is resourceful and always looks for the shorter pages to read out loud. So we negotiate and exchange a long page, which I read, with a shorter one which he reads.

Reading together is not only about improving his reading skills or his vocabulary. Of course we talk about concepts and unfamiliar words that appear in the text, but it is mainly a  great opportunity to think of and develop ideas. We discuss our opinions and to share personal stories. This is how I learnt about a trouble in my young friends’ life.

Apparently, during the recess another boy hit him, and when my friend reported the incident to the principal, nothing was done. He was frustrated and the next morning, when it happened again, he literally jumped the high fence and ran away from school.

This is a classic children book story: in order to get the attention of the adult world, a child does something extreme. In real life it usually doesn't happen. Thus, my young  friend was punished for running away, his mother was called into the principal office, and he was suspended for one day. That was the arbitrary law

In books the outcome would have certainly been different, after the child was found he was reproached for making every one worried. Then the grownups involved, the principal, the teacher and the parents, apologized to him and asked forgiveness for not paying attention to his plight. This is poetic justice.

When we met to read again my friend was  troubled by what had happened. Children know instinctively what is fair, and as literature is a great training for understanding concepts, he understood very well the difference between justice and the law.

Poetic justice is important to everyone, but it is extremely crucial for  children in order to form a confident and positive outlook of the word. I am sorry that in this case the school chose to ignore it. Moreover, how is it possible that no one asked what made a little boy feel that the outside world was safer than the school, which is supposed to be the safest place for our children.

Reading literature is a great preparation for life, as it is made of examples, stories with characters and situations, it enriches the repertoire of responses and provides tools to analyze the world. Perhaps the grownups in the school: the principal and the teachers, should reread children literature in order to remember to treat children more fairly.

The essay appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-kid-who-ran-away-from-school-and-children-books-justice/

“Evil Tongue Does Not Speak To Me:” Words And Stones

Driving in Bnai Brak yesterday I saw a billboard with the sentence: “Defamation/slandering does not appeal to me.” In Hebrew the phrase is especially powerful. The equivalent of  defamation is “evil tongue” and  “does not appeal to me” is “does not speak to me.” In Hebrew the words constitute a pun as the emphasis here is on the evil caused when we don’t shut our mouth.

The Bible forbids slandering, in Leviticus 19, among other commandments, there is one about slandering: “Do not go about spreading slander among your people.” (16).

In today's world, here in Israel, the Law of Defamation (1965) is supposed to protect people’s dignity and reputation and to prevent degrading a person or a group of people because of race, national origin, religion,  place of residence, etc. Article 1 of the Law clarifies that defamation occurs when  a person (individual or corporation) is belittled in the eyes of people and it could lead to hatred.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel 

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/evil-tongue-does-not-speak-to-me-words-and-stones