The US Is A Foreign Country Or It Is Best Not To Know

There was a lot I hadn’t known about Americans before we moved to the US to pursue graduate studies. For example, I wasn’t aware of the implications of the famous strive for excellence, which, at our school, meant a strong competition among the students.

As a result, there was tension in the air, especially in class, and I often felt surrounded by rivals rather than friends or colleagues. In instances like those, it is recommended (MS. Mentor?) to be cautious and to think twice before speaking. Indeed, many fellow students chose not to speak in class. But coming from an Israeli university, where studying was a social activity, I was used to being able to participate in class and ask questions. Thus, although many students in my new class were quiet, and sometimes it was a challenge for my professor to draw them in, I usually spoke up.

The other day doing some pre Pesach cleanup, I came across an old letter, which reminded me

how conspicuous I must have seemed at that class.

Please read more in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-us-is-a-foreign-country-or-it-is-best-not-to-know/

Roads I didn’t Take And Public Transportation

Many years ago when we were students and newly wed, I worked part time at one of the Steimazki bookstores in Haifa. A colleague, a lovely lady, had just moved to Haifa and told me that she was selling her house in Binyamina in order to buy an apartment on Mount Carmel. At that time, almost forty years ago, a house with a substantial yard in that small sleepy town cost the same as a modest apartment in the Carmel.

I had never really been to Binyamina, at that point, but felt that I knew the place since the train from Haifa to Tel Aviv stopped there. It seemed as though the town was within an easy reach from Haifa.

That night I went home and told my husband about that house, I wanted to buy it but he wasn’t at all sure. The main reason for his reluctance was that the train did not run on Saturday, and we would be stranded there. One could not move outside of town with no car, my husband argued, and that would mean additional expenses. In Haifa busses ran on Saturday and we did not need a car.

Although I was convinced that we were letting a lifetime opportunity slip away, I didn’t pursue the matter further. My husband was right, moving away from the city meant more than getting a good deal on a house.

Perhaps we should have listened to my intuition and invested in real estate in Binyamina. Prices in that town went up and prices in Haifa went down.

But today all those years later the train still does not run on Saturday and people without a car are stranded. Haifa, on the other hand, is still the only civilized city in Israel with public transportation on Saturdays and holidays.

Earlier this holiday a Facebook protest encouraged users to complain on the page of the transportation minister Israel Katz and express their frustration at the fact there is no public transportation in Israel on Saturdays and holiday and in particular on the long second holiday this year. Omri Hazut a public transportation user reminded the minister that "The seventh day of Passover is on Thursday, and the last night is Friday. From Thursday afternoon until Saturday night, there will be no public transportation!"

The Minister responded with the following outrageous argument: "Tell (Isaac) Buji Herzog to commit not to sit in a government that won't change the status quo. The display of hypocrisy by you and your friends on the left ... was proven in the last elections and got the appropriate response at the polls."

The Minister reacted like a bully in the most unprofessional way. As we well know Buji was not elected to be our prime minister, Benjamin Netanyahu was and it is the government’s responsibility to take care of the  people who depend on public transportation.

In Haifa, people who use public transportation on Shabbat could do so because the “left” and the founding fathers of that workers’ city have always cared about the welfare of the residents and made sure that on their day of rest they could enjoy the city and get around, even as far as the sea shore.

It’s a shame that the “right” has no interest in doing the same. my guess is that Katz’s own people never ride the bus.

The essay appeared in the Times Of israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/roads-i-didnt-take-and-public-transportation/

Those Who Are Absent From The Seder Table

In recent years, just before Pesach, together with anticipation I also experience a feeling of loss. I am already sad thinking of those who would be absent from my Seder Table. The list is getting longer every year: it includes my parents and my husband who are no longer alive, my daughters who are abroad, and my only brother who will celebrate the holiday with his family.

People complain about spending the holidays with their family, and psychological studies have proven and quantified the existence of a particular holiday stress. In Israel, a family-centered society, it is common that unmarried people flee the country, regardless of the destination, just not to be around when every one else is with the family.

Since we spent many years in the US away from Israel, not being here during the holiday is not a good solution. On the other hand, at the risk of appearing Scrooge-like, it dosn't work for me to spend the holiday with a lucky family that doesn’t have a list of those who are missing from the table.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel 

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/those-who-are-absent-from-the-seder-table/

“Evil Tongue Does Not Speak To Me:” Words And Stones

Driving in Bnai Brak yesterday I saw a billboard with the sentence: “Defamation/slandering does not appeal to me.” In Hebrew the phrase is especially powerful. The equivalent of  defamation is “evil tongue” and  “does not appeal to me” is “does not speak to me.” In Hebrew the words constitute a pun as the emphasis here is on the evil caused when we don’t shut our mouth.

The Bible forbids slandering, in Leviticus 19, among other commandments, there is one about slandering: “Do not go about spreading slander among your people.” (16).

In today's world, here in Israel, the Law of Defamation (1965) is supposed to protect people’s dignity and reputation and to prevent degrading a person or a group of people because of race, national origin, religion,  place of residence, etc. Article 1 of the Law clarifies that defamation occurs when  a person (individual or corporation) is belittled in the eyes of people and it could lead to hatred.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel 

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/evil-tongue-does-not-speak-to-me-words-and-stones

Election Day In Elkana: A Cause For Optimism

There is a famous Jewish story about a religious man who survived a shipwreck and was  left hanging onto a plank. A fishing boat approached and offered to take him back to shore. The man kindly refused saying that he was waiting for God to save him. The lesson of the story is that God helps those who help themselves.

It wasn’t a mere chance that I remembered this empowering vignette on the morning after the election when the final numbers were publicized.

Since I am an optimist by nature, feeling despair was not an option and I was looking for something that would cheer me up. Then I realized that  a fishing boat came for me too on the day of the election.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/election-day-in-elkana-a-cause-for-optimism/

"The Other Is [Not] Me:" Lack Of Empathy

Yesterday morning I heard on NPR (Morning Edition) about a new study which found that parents were responsible in part for the increase of Narcissism among young people today. According to Brad Bushman, a communications and psychology professor at Ohio State University, if a kid does something amazing, and you tell her that she's very smart or that she's a very special kid, you increase her chances of becoming a narcissist. However if you say that she must have worked really hard you raise her self-esteem and keep her ego in check.

In earlier generations parents hardly ever complimented their children on good behavior, or praised their performance, for fear of “spoiling” them. This type of upbringing seemed cold and even a bit cruel and when we, my generation, became parents in the mid 1980s we vowed to do things differently and purposely encouraged and praised our children.

please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-other-is-not-me-lack-of-empathy/

Another Meaning of “Real Life:” A Housewife And A Writer

It gives me a special pleasure to explore another meaning of “real life” on the same morning when Benjamin Netanyahu attempts to convince the Americans that real life is synonymous with the Iranian nuclear threat.

In the Guardian essay from Monday March 2nd  “I love being a housewife and that doesn’t make me any less of a feminist,” Chitra Ramaswamy, a  writer and a columnist, shares her experience of being a housewife and a mother in 2015 Edinburgh.

Like many other couples, after taking a year off as a maternity leave, Ramaswamy and her partner  realized that the high cost of childcare made it sensible for her to stay at home with her son and not go back to work. They decided to live off the wage of her partner.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/another-meaning-of-real-life-a-housewife-and-a-writer/