IMA is more important than

Going north on Ayalon highway in Tel Aviv you can’t miss the eye-catching yellow building with the word IMA (mother in Hebrew) in huge letters and beneath in smaller print: “is more important than.” Even once the full sentence is revealed with the rest of the word IMA--GINATION, and we remember Albert Einstein's quote, the word IMA remained with me.

So if IMA is that important, how come so many young women today still have trouble juggling motherhood and career? The following is a an amazing, yet disturbing, example of the challenges of an Israeli mother, in the relentless business world. Her daughter celebrated her birthday at the preschool and had warned the mother that if she failed to show up to the party on time, she would dismiss her as a mother.

On the appointed day the mother had to attend a meeting which was due to end fifteen minutes prior to the party. As it was rush hour, she knew that she would never get from the center of Tel Aviv to the party on time. Desperate times called for desperate measures, thus she had planned ahead and hired a delivery motorcyclist who waited for her at the end of the meeting and raced through heavy traffic to the school: She wasn't late.

That time the mother found a solution, but I have to wonder about all the other instances when she couldn't, and about the high price that the mother and her daughter have to pay, so that the mother could keep her job. Most mothers are not praised for their resourcefulness, it is part of their job. Moreover, this type of solving problem is silenced because it may hint to the fact that those women don’t have their priority straight. Even in the 21st century mothers are still expected to be at the birthday early with an elaborated home made cake and a big smile.

The story demonstrates a brave mother who thinks outside the box and comes up with innovative solutions. Those are rare and sought after qualities in both the business world and in politics. However, it is also a sad comment on our society when a mother has to literally risk her life to get to a her daughter's birthday party on time.

For generations women have been wrestling with the issue of combining home and work. The great Feminist Simone de Beauvoir in The Second Sex, (1953) was against women's employment and argued that combining home and work meant a burden of the ‘double day’ which underpinned the subordinate position of women in society. She further details the hardships in store for women, at all professional levels that attempt to combine marriage and work.

Things have not changed much, whether you are a young mother balancing work and children, or an older mother attempting to get back in, the workplace in general is not a friendly environment for mothers of all ages. De Beauvoir, who wrote about the plight of working married women, never married; it was her way of never facing that problem.

Not every woman wishes to be a mother, and it is a sensible choice, but But it is high time to recognize motherhood as one of the achievements listed on a woman’s CV.

Why I Marched Today In Solidarity With My American Sisters

In a recent talk: Who Broke Feminism? The Obligation of Privilege,
 the Feminist scholar Emma Rees, named two factors (among others) responsible for that breakage. The first one is Neo-Liberalism, and we witnessed its overwhelming popularity in the last US election. The second one, unfortunately, are the women themselves. A proof of that we saw in the surprising number of women who voted for Donald Trump in that same election, in spite of his infamous disrespect and harassment of women.

To show solidarity to my American sisters, I  came this morning at 10am to march in Rabin Square in Tel Aviv. In addition to our rally, there are over 600 sister marches, planned in 57 countries today. I read that Women’s March Against Trump has turned into a “Global Day Of Action.”

My reasons for protesting in solidarity with American women are also personal. My two daughters were born in the US and they live there. Life in the US for career women has never been easy, but now when a man like Trump is the president I have every reason to worry.

I don’t want to appear disloyal to women, and to our cause, but to all those women who voted for Donald Trump, I would like to describe the difficult situation that your daughters, sisters, and granddaughter are already facing today in the public sphere.

For generations women have been wrestling with the issue of combining home and work, whether you are a young mother balancing work and children, or an older mother attempting to get back in, the workplace in general is not a friendly environment for women and for mothers of all ages. Although in order to have a career, women have always paid a high price, their compensation—the salary is normally lower than that of the men.

Still, the gap in salary doesn’t mean that women receive more considerations for their effort at the work place and at home. Every career woman knows that she would most likely not be hired if she is interviewed for a job when pregnant. If she has a job her maternity leave is ridiculously short. And back at work, she has to prove that motherhood has not made her an inferior worker.

Only 2 years ago, disguised as a generous concern for their female employees, Facebook and Apple announced that they would cover the expense of freezing the eggs of their female employees, those companies are gaining control of the biological clock of the women and  set it according to their own schedule.

The decade between 30 and 40 is crucial for one’s career, but  it is also the last opportunity for women to have a healthy baby, and many times to have a baby at all. Like making a deal with the devil, this cynical move could harm women as it lulls them into believing that they could continue giving their best years to the company as the clock has stopped ticking.

And speaking of private companies, the American people chose as their president the epitome of a cynical businessman. With so little to show for can women afford to lose everything that they have worked so hard to get? The women who march today all over the world say NO.

The essay first appeared in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/why-i-marched-today-in-solidarity-with-my-american-sisters/

Mother Of The Year Award

When my girls grew up I decided it was finally my time  to go back to school and get a PhD. I was ready and excited, and was certain that the outside world was as excited to have me back.

Once  I started the program I came across an announcement about a special scholarship for women. In my naiveté I believed that it had my name written all over it. After all who wouldn’t appreciate the determination of a mother who decides to go back to school after a long break? The answer is that no one did. There were no scholarships or any other type of awards for someone like me

Shortly after I finished my PhD, I gave a paper at an international conference abroad. I got to talk to one of the other Israeli participants, a university professor. He said that in his department, for entry level positions, no one would even look at candidates over forty. Although he had drunk several glasses of wine, and probably would not have repeated it in public, it was clear that it was women, especially mothers, who paid the price.

So women who interrupt their career to have a family, and are ready to go back several years later, risk losing their career.

But perhaps there are other kind of awards for mothers? Today I saw on Facebook that “the city of Beer Sheva is seeking to nominate exceptional mothers for Mother of the Year Award.”

Then it transpired that one of the requirements was that the nominee would have achieved self-fulfillment. The definition of the term is “feeling of happiness and satisfaction as a result of doing something that fully uses one’s abilities and talents.”  But in today’s world, and in the context of the competition, the  term self-fulfillment  is a code word for a career.

Most of my female friends who stayed home with the children in the 1980s never got to have a career. Back then we were told that self-fulfillment is to be found in motherhood, especially if it was done full-time. We were a group of educated and capable women, but when we went back to work, it was too late to “fully use our abilities and talents.”  We found jobs, but those, usually, were not the self-fulfilling kind.

In the past it always surprised me to hear about young mothers who purposely chose to stay close to their parents once they had children of their own. However, now I think that they were practical, and knew something which I hadn’t realized: in order to have a career a mother must utilize all the resources available to her, and to make sure she receives all the help she can get.

In spite of the competition in Beer Sheva, society does not give awards to outstanding mothers. Their success is recognized privately within the family. But whether you are a young mother balancing work and children, or an older mother attempting to get back in, the workplace in general is not a friendly environment for mothers of all ages.

https://blogs.timesofisrael.com/mother-of-the-year-award/

Another Meaning of “Real Life:” A Housewife And A Writer

It gives me a special pleasure to explore another meaning of “real life” on the same morning when Benjamin Netanyahu attempts to convince the Americans that real life is synonymous with the Iranian nuclear threat.

In the Guardian essay from Monday March 2nd  “I love being a housewife and that doesn’t make me any less of a feminist,” Chitra Ramaswamy, a  writer and a columnist, shares her experience of being a housewife and a mother in 2015 Edinburgh.

Like many other couples, after taking a year off as a maternity leave, Ramaswamy and her partner  realized that the high cost of childcare made it sensible for her to stay at home with her son and not go back to work. They decided to live off the wage of her partner.

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/another-meaning-of-real-life-a-housewife-and-a-writer/

From Marriage Ban To Freezing Eggs: The High Price Of Equality

Until the end of the Second World War and even later, in many places around the world, women had to choose between a career and marriage. Those who decided to have a career knew that they had to give up having a family.

In Britain, for example, by law, being a teacher or working in the Civil Service meant that the woman remained a spinster. Only in 1944 did the Education Act enshrined that women teachers were not dismissed once they got married. Two years later in 1946 marriage bar was removed from female civil servants.

Marriage bar at the work place must have made life simpler, at least for men, 

Please keep reading in the Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/from-marriage-ban-to-freezing-eggs-the-high-price-of-equality/

“You Send Your Son To Welding School:” The Debate Over Vocational Education

In the late 1930s my 16 year old uncle wanted to join a kibbutz, but my grandmother demanded that he first study a vocation which would help him succeed in his new life. My uncle applied to the Max Fein Vocational School and became a welder.  Many years later he told me how proud he felt to be able to bring with him to the Kibbutz a useful gift of a vocation.

This event took place about ten years prior to Israel’s independence, and it was clear that people like my uncle, graduates of vocational schools, were exactly what our country needed.

Please keep reading in The Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/you-send-your-son-to-welding-school-the-debate-over-vocational-education/

The Eggs In The Gilded Cage

For years we have been impressed with the perks of being a High Tech employee:  the exciting free food, the on-site gym, the retreats, and that even before we begin to admire the generous  paychecks and the other financial benefits.

But  there is always a price, in return for all that the worker gives the company his/her life, or at least time and creative energy,.Now comes the latest perk: covering the expense of freezing women's egg as announced by Facebook and Apple.

But excuse me if I  don’t trust those companies to have women’s  best interest in mind.

Please keep reading in The Times Of Israel

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/the-eggs-in-the-gilded-cage/

A Woman's Career And Bad Karma

The recent gaffe made by Microsoft's CEO prompted  me think that  one  of the reasons why I didn't have a career was Karma.

But there was a  time when I truly believed that a job well done would  lead to a career. As a graduate student at the University Of Iowa I was the program director at the university Hillel House. That university is the home of the distinguished Writers' Workshop and the International Writers' Workshop, and Iowa City has always been a paradise for literature lovers.

For me as a graduate student of literature it was a perfect position, and one of my goals was to make our Hillel a cultural and literary center. I worked hard, and was so successful that in my second year one of my programs won a national award.

Please keep reading in The Times of Israel 

http://blogs.timesofisrael.com/a-womans-career-and-the-bad-karma/

IMA Is More Important Than

IMA is more important than

Going north on Ayalon highway in Tel Aviv you can’t miss the eye-catching yellow building with the word IMA (mother in Hebrew) in huge letters and beneath in smaller print: “is more important than.” Even once the full sentence is revealed with the rest of the word IMA--GINATION, and we remember Albert Einstein's quote, the word IMA remained with me.

So if IMA is that important, how come so many young women today still have trouble juggling motherhood and career? The following is a an amazing, yet disturbing, example of the challenges of an Israeli mother, in the relentless business world. Her daughter celebrated her birthday at the preschool and had warned the mother that if she failed to show up to the party on time, she would dismiss her as a mother.

On the appointed day the mother had to attend a meeting which was due to end fifteen minutes prior to the party. As it was rush hour, she knew that she would never get from the center of Tel Aviv to the party on time. Desperate times called for desperate measures, thus she had planned ahead and hired a delivery motorcyclist who waited for her at the end of the meeting and raced through heavy traffic to the school: She wasn't late.

That time the mother found a solution, but I have to wonder about all the other instances when she couldn't, and about the high price that the mother and her daughter have to pay, so that the mother could keep her job. Most mothers are not praised for their resourcefulness, it is part of their job. Moreover, this type of solving problem is silenced because it may hint to the fact that those women don’t have their priority straight. Even in the 21st century mothers are still expected to be at the birthday early with an elaborated home made cake and a big smile.

The story demonstrates a brave mother who thinks outside the box and comes up with innovative solutions. Those are rare and sought after qualities in both the business world and in politics. However, it is also a sad comment on our society when a mother has to literally risk her life to get to a her daughter's birthday party on time.

For generations women have been wrestling with the issue of combining home and work. The great Feminist Simone de Beauvoir in The Second Sex, (1953) was against women's employment and argued that combining home and work meant a burden of the ‘double day’ which underpinned the subordinate position of women in society. She further details the hardships in store for women, at all professional levels that attempt to combine marriage and work.

Things have not changed much, whether you are a young mother balancing work and children, or an older mother attempting to get back in, the workplace in general is not a friendly environment for mothers of all ages. De Beauvoir, who wrote about the plight of working married women, never married; it was her way of never facing that problem.

Not every woman wishes to be a mother, and it is a sensible choice, but But it is high time to recognize motherhood as one of the achievements listed on a woman’s CV.